The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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