i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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