but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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