Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
