you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
