Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
