have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
