her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
