the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize