Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The air was thick with penises
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
