Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just forgot I was standing up.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
