Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
