The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
