I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
