I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
