I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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