I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
