Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
