he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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