That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
