we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
