they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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