I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
