it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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