it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
