A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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