I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
