hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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