I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize