We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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