All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
