I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
