apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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