I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize