come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
