I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
