i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
