No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
