I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
