I'm laying in your front yard are you home
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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