Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
