cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
