i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
