I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
