are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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