I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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