I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize