the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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