youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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