i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
