he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
