we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Princesses don't give blow jobs
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
