4 words: hood of his car
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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