Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
