We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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