My Higher Power is John Stamos
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize