Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Randomize
