how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
