Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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