At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
