Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
