I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
