mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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