can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
